It's my birthday

And I haven't posted in my blog for over a year and a half. But on my birthday, I darn well have a birthday request. You may agree with me, you may not. You may think, that girl wears entirely too many colours at once and is on the border of looking like a crazy cat lady. All I ask is that you read and comment if you are inspired to. I'll consider it my birthday present from you.

Please always stand up for what is right, even if you are the only one standing. This is a hard thing to do. No one wants to be that lone fish swimming in what may appear to be the wrong direction. But change only happens when individuals do something that is different than what everyone else is doing; why not let that crazy individual be you?

People love quotes these days. Guess what? The best ones come from life's little guidebook, the Bible. You probably know many Biblical quotes and don't even know it. Well, here is one that is appropriate to this blog post:

Don't look for shortcuts... The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life...is vigorous and requires total attention.
Matthew 7:13 The Message

For my fellow married folk, for those who have been married and for those who want to be married take note. Marriage is designed to be for a lifetime and shared between only one man and one woman for their entire lifetimes. Until you die or they die. Can this get any simpler or clearer? God created marriage, so guess what...if you're married, God is a part of that marriage. It was His idea, not ours. Marriage is not a contract, it is a covenant. It is the only relationship we will ever have that is a covenant, and it's not only with our spouse, it's also with God. It is not a joke and there is a reason that ministers of yore would say 'What God has joined together let no man put asunder'. This means that anyone trying to put a marriage 'asunder' has to answer to God; including those in the marriage and those outside the marriage. Why do we really attend weddings? The reason we should be there is to bear witness to the marriage and to hold the married couple accountable for their actions. By witnessing the day, you are saying, I support you guys getting married. If I see something going amiss, I'm going to help you guys out. Have you ever kept this promise to a couple whose wedding you attended? These days, most people think pursuing happiness is a good way to live. Some even believe that is their life's purpose. Most of the problems we experience in our world can be boiled down to one pursuit - selfish happiness. Oh, and a second one - laissez faire attitudes of those around the person pursuing selfish happiness. Are you in either category today?

Now on to the meaty part, loving another person. When you say you love your spouse, do you really? Do you love them only when they are good to you? What if they embarrass you or disrespect you? Would you love them regardless of their actions? The kind of love we should have for our spouses is not dependent on anything. It is all encompassing and keeps on giving even when you don't think you have anything left to give. Most people have 1 Corinthians 13 read at their wedding. Check it:

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

 ¹ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. ²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. ^3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.  ^8-10Love never dies...
... ¹³Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

How hard is that? Near impossible, but go big or go home where love is concerned.

We recently lost Amy Winehouse to an alcohol overdose. How many of her friends do you think really earnestly tried to help her? That night while she was drinking in her room, do you think her security guards were unaware of what she was doing? They probably just said; that's just Amy, she'll do what she wants regardless of what we do. I've said something before and it hasn't gotten me anywhere except in her bad books. She's an adult, she can make her own decisions. I don't have the right to interfere in her life. My friend, this is the biggest lie out there. You absolutely have the right to interfere in someone's life when they are engaging in behaviour that is harmful to themselves and others. The question is, will you? Will you speak up when you see injustice, poor judgment, the pursuit of things which are harmful and destructive...or will you just say, oh, that's not my problem. I don't want to make myself uncomfortable. I'm comfy and cozy in my little box, and don't want to bother trying to get out of it. These behaviours are indeed all of our problems, and  I hope that you all, my friends, will make a difference this year by being unpopular, not always saying the things people want you to say, questioning what people think is the right thing to do and just being different and having integrity.


So now here comes the really hard part. If you've read this all the way through, well done my good lady or awesome chap. But now, on my 35th birthday, I want you to ask yourself, who can I make a difference to today and this year? Who can I love more wholly and truly? Who can I help? And then, I dare you to actually do something about it. That will be the best birthday present you will ever give me.

Romans 8 musings

I've been enjoying The Message translation of the Bible more and more lately. Today I decided to read Romans 8 which has been my favorite chapter since I was a teen. Back then, I was obsessed with Bible study. We would literally pore over every word, have discussions, challenge each other's thinking...I miss those days.

Here's the passage that really struck me today:

5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.

9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!

12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

I adore the ending image; have a funeral for the old you then move on. No, old me, you're not getting any red cents, not even one! Hear, hear!

be happy

Today, I am reminded of the Sheryl Crow song 'A change...would do you good.'

Embracing change is not something I excel at. Unpredictability scares me. But in this season of my life, I am learning through my relationship with God and others, that change is necessary and healthy.

I have a book called 'be happy' by Monica Sheehan - 'A little book to help you live a happy life.' Each directive is accompanied by a cute sketch.

Here is what is contained within:

Show up.
Follow your heart.
Stay inspired.
Stop being a victim.
Do things you're good at.
Love your work.
Get a new perspective.
Have a sense of wonder.
Don't isolate.
Find people you love.
Set goals.
Finish what you started.
Help others.
Do a one day news fast.
Dance.
Pamper yourself.
Face your fears.
Go to a museum.
Any decision is better than no decision.
Exercise.
Limit television.
Listen to music.
Get in touch with nature.
Lighten up.
Have a moral compass.
Get a good night's sleep.
Read books.
Buy yourself flowers.
Reach out.
Set up a realistic schedule.
Don't compare yourself with others.
Live in the moment.
Don't beat yourself up.
Accept that life has its ups and downs.
Every night reflect on the 'good' things about your day.
Be open to new ideas.
Believe in yourself.
Be kind.
Let people know how special they are.
Be honest with yourself.
Don't focus on negative thoughts.
Focus on creating what you desire.
Make time just to have fun.
Say thank you to the people who teach you, support you, encourage you, and get you a cup of coffee.
Don't forget...money doesn't buy happiness.
Give away what you don't need, to someone who does.
Value who you are right now.
Be part of a community.
Find a common ground.
Keep the romance in your life.
Make a gratitude list.
Love your Mother Earth.
Do your best.
Don't lose hope. (You never know what tomorrow will bring.)
Keep learning.
Want what you have.
Believe in something bigger than yourself.
Stay close to friends and family.
Be true to yourself.

Then the book concludes with a page that says 'gratitude list' and has lines for you to write on.

Even though they are simple, these are hard orders to follow, but important ones for our spiritual and mental wellbeing.

Considering which to focus on for today, I chose 'Do your best'.

And I intend to.

How about you?

Suck on this

Last night, I indulged in the wonder that is SATC 2. Slammed by the critics; one even labelled their review 'Sucks in the city'. I truly must beg to differ. The movie was opulent, fantastical, heartwarming, funny, pun-filled, silly and overall very enjoyable despite its predictability (you're hard pressed to find an unpredictable one in any summer releases). We all liked it, not as much as the first movie, but a good hearty thumbs up.

It made me think about the characters and their 'roles' as women. They are all so different, yet I'm sure we can all identify with one or more of the girls at different points throughout our lives. I see myself as Charlotte. Very idealistic, keen, by the book, black and white, not impulsive, worried about the impression she makes on others. She wants to be the best wife and mother and failures shatter her. She married someone she never thought she would (in her second marriage to Harry). She and I are also hopeless romantics.

I can also see some Miranda in myself. Driven, bossy, to the point, tell it like it is, concerned with impropriety and doing the right thing.

Now Samantha...I admire her. She has gumption! She's the most successful, fantabulous tart I've ever seen! I could never be that brazen, but she does it looking fabulous and all you can do is outwardly express disdain and shock, while inwardly envying her.

And last, Carrie. I too am often plagued by indecision. Kooky fashion sense - yep, that's definitely me. I also believe that two people can be lifelong loves despite other circumstances that may come into play. And as an aside, I would jump at the chance to be a columnist, writer or blogger (smile).

Together, these women form an uberwoman. Beautiful inside, beautiful outside, strong, weak, a wife, a mother and a whore (let's call a spade a spade). How more can you describe a woman?

Although much lighter than the first movie, it embodied some real and tough issues: gay marriage (and the ensuing question - how are Liza Minelli's legs THAT skinny), boredom/routine in marriage, tvs in your bedroom in marriage, fear of failure as a mother, fear your husband will cheat with someone possessing perkier boobs... Who among us has not had cause to think on these things?

It leads me to ask: what were the critics expecting? The first one dealt with meatier issues; did they really expect the second to do the same? It's a sequel for God's sake. Don't all sequels make you ask - why did they even bother? And if men will go see sequel after sequel of action/comic book movies that are brain numbingly lame, why aren't we afforded that same luxury without scathing critique?

Admittedly, there was more estrogen in that movie theatre than seemed comfortable, but there's something empowering about being in a theatre with hundreds of other women, laughing, gasping, crying and empathizing together. There is power in being women. As sung in one scene:

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

These words build us up and make us feel like we can triumph. Not many movies have this positive of a theme while showcasing women in their good, bad and ugly stages. So as Samantha said about the four of them: 'loves come and go, but we are soulmates'. Let's raise a cosmo to our girls.

Childless in 2010

As I begin my blogging journey, I've chosen my theme - (da, da, dun, da!) Childless in 2010.
Now, I had dreams for my life. Boy did I ever. Married by 25. Have two children before 30. Be a hot mom in her 40s with teenagers.
So, thus far I was married at 29 and I'm now 33 with no children on the horizon.
The flaws in my first dream are now apparent, and boy am I ever glad I didn't get married at 25. Now when someone gets married at that age I think - wow, they're so YOUNG to be getting married. And same goes for when they have children.
So to allay all concerns/questions/niggling thoughts - yes, Andrew and I do want to have children. We are just waiting for a few reasons. One, we love our life. We eat out, we have date nights, we go on tour, we run ourselves ragged...at least the first part of this sentence must seem appealing to some. But all of this would need to cease should a baby come along. We basically love having the freedom to do what we want, when we want.
There's also the factor of being a starving artist - it doesn't pay the bills. Thus, I have the 'pay for our apartment and extravagant lifestyle' job while Andrew does more gigging than me and is studying to become an accredited graphic designer. He is hoping to finish school this year, then search for a f/t job in this field.
Now, there is no way we're having a baby this year folks, so stop praying, hoping and wishing that I will forget to take my birth control. Ain't gonna happen. It's the one thing I do everyday at the same time, same place. Thus, this will be my year to blog about my times as a happy, childless married lady.
On Saturday I had a fantastic day of reuniting with old friends. I met 7 other ladies who I went to church with when we were youths. Out of the 8 of us, 5 are married, 1 is engaged, 1 is divorced and 1 single, never married. 5 have one child. 1 has 2 children. Only 2 of us are married and childless (and I've been married twice as long!) Thankfully for me, after a brief discussion about not wanting to watch Treehouse on the restaurant tvs (the restaurant was so obliging - since they couldn't change the channel they covered up the tvs for us!), there was little talk of children all afternoon, just a lot of reminiscing and talking about our current mates and stories. Then I moved on to attend my high school best friend's son's 1st birthday (whew). Our other high school friend was there and they both have 1 child. The room was full of children. As a person with no children, take note - 1st birthday parties are not really a scene I feel that welcome at. There's no little person to chase around the room, watch out for, yell at. You know, all the things parents treasure doing at gatherings.
After that day, I thought - would I want this life? And the answer right now is still no. Being a mom would mean I would have to be patient, kind, gentle...and other things that I'm no good at. I need some more time to grow those fruits people.